This morning I opened the door to the
frigid temperature only to close it and return to the chair where I
pray each morning. After a time of talking to God and asking Him to
protect those I love and thanking Him for all the times He's
protected me, I began to reminisce about other times when the
thermometer plunged into the 20s and 30s and winter weather caught us
unawares. With all the predictions available to us even now, some
things cannot be determined with certainty. It seems today was one of
those, as sleet and snow arrived earlier than expected. In the south,
this can create much anxiety for parents with school closings and
drives to work that leave everyone unsure of what a day is going to
hold.
This summer I was a bit surprised to
see the term “matriarch” used to describe me to friends on
Facebook. The truth is, I have become the matriarch of my own crew.
My grandmothers and mother have been gone for some time and I am left
to represent my own family as the eldest female member.
I'm settling into that title and today
more than others, I find myself remembering my mother and can
identify with her concerns for her family. Most of her life, my
mother was a stay at home mom and was there at home when we were all
forced to go out into the world, even on what she called “bitter
cold” days like this one. She must have prayed for us on these days
and I'm sure she must have found herself looking out windows or doors
to check the status of the roads and waiting to hear we had all
arrived home safely. I confess quite a few gazes out the window as I
remembered the tug of war mothers and fathers faced with the dilemma
of children/job responsibilities. A picture of myself slip/sliding
down Pump Station Road in Kannapolis after school was officially
closed and all the students had been picked up came to my mind. I
couldn't remember where my child was at the time. Perhaps not even
born yet. Our memories can become fuzzy as matriarchs. However, I
won't forget to remember my safe arrival home!
Since I was not forced to go out to
work today, I began reading Facebook posts by others who grew up in
my hometown. “You know you're from Kannapolis when...” has become
one of my favorite pages and today I found myself reading posts
about years gone by. There were posts about icicles hanging from the
roofs of houses on the “mill hill.” Someone posted a photo of
“galoshes” they wore to school and another shared how some people
put plastic on the windows at the beginning of winter. Suddenly, I
realized how many winters and snow seasons I've seen and I exercised
my memory muscles and pulled up a cache of pictures that are printed
on my mind. Why not pull out some of my photos and share them with my
friends? That's one thing I inherited from my mother, a love for
photographs. My family knows I can sometimes annoy at family
functions with all the snapping of photos. I see it as memories in
the making. Perhaps one of these days my photos will make it onto the
some newer form of social media. Who could imagine what that might be a
half a century from now, the age of some of the photos I'm sharing?
In my memory bank, it seems there used
to be far more snows in winter in this part of the south. I also
might add that many mothers, like mine, were stay at home moms and
many of us walked to school. I remember it being a time of much less
concern during my childhood and teens. I lived on Central Drive in
between two really great hills for sledding. Often we'd be out for
hours, having to peel the gloves off our hands and warming them by
the fireplace my daddy built during the coldest part of winter. Once
it even snowed on my birthday, March 4th! Instead of the
traditional cake, my mother baked a stack of Toll House chocolate
chip cookies and put a candle on top. I've never needed a photo of
this memory, as I remember the substitution of hot cocoa and cookies
well. Some pictures are safely kept in our minds.
I do remember breaking icicles off our
house and having a taste as well as my trusty rubber boots stacked
with all our wet clothes by the door after a day outside with my
brother, sister and friends. Photographs of my brother in snowsuit
bring back memories of one who left us too soon. Then there's my
grandmother, once the matriarch, wearing a scarf about her head and
the plastic, snap on shoe covers she wore when she braved the cold
with her grands in the snow March of '62. Fifty years of memories
since this snapshot with a backdrop of bushes blanketed with snow.
And how could I forget the teachable
moment as I helped kindergarteners spread peanut butter and bird seed
on large pine cones from Southern Pines, NC as giant size snowflakes
fell silently outside the pull out windows of McKnight Kindergarten?
Shouts of “It's snowing, let's hurry
so the birds can eat their food!” Who could have timed it more
perfectly? Something inside me felt warm as my daddy's fireplace, in
spite of the anxieties about getting all those kids home. This memory
came as I viewed a picture posted by one of my former students, now a
teacher. Her students donned chef hats and had a cooking class
shortly before being dismissed early from school today. One memory can
birth another.
My season of life has changed and the
setting has changed as well. Now I can include memories of
grandchildren building tiny snowmen from the seemingly smaller
snowfalls of the past ten years. There's only been one really large
snowstorm in quite some time. Looking through more photos, I see a
grandchild bundled up in a parent sandwich and remember a White
Christmas just a couple of years ago. I see names traced in the snow
and I see traces of love and happy times. For all the cares and
concerns we can have when the winter season brings a mixture of the
elements our way, there's beauty to be found if we just look for it.
The quiet whisper of days gone by can be heard as well as the shouts
of excitement right outside our window.
It has to be our perspective that
creates that warm place in our hearts when it comes to seasons like
winter and what we sometimes call “bad weather.” Perspective can
be everything and I have come to know in this season of my life that
hindsight is indeed 20/20.
As the matriarch of my family now, I
want my words to reach forward to a day when my grandchildren might
be facing days like today. Anxieties and bitter cold concerns will
certainly come their way as they most likely did for the woman in
snap on galoshes standing by me in the snow. There's something warm
in a picture the heart remembers. Who can't read the joy on the face
of a little brother who's obviously just hit big sis with a snowball
or proud smiles peeping out from under tiny toboggans beside a
miniature snowman? The rosy warmth of a baby boy squeezed between
mommy and daddy are certain to provide some warm fuzzies for the
chilliest days.
My photographs became my prayers today.
I asked God to allow these words, these memories of our family and
some of the brightness of my former days to drift down quietly into
this frigid day and their future days. May they settle over them like
a warm blanket. May the blessing of a picture or the sound of far
away laughter come floating into their memories no matter whatever
the season of life. May they always feel a warmth like their Papaw's
fireplace burn in their hearts where they can go for respite on the
coldest of days.
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